“What are you?”
I am what I am.
“Why are you doing this?”
I don’t have a choice, but you believe you do. If you do this you will not remember anything, and if you fail, you will be doomed to never forget nor forgive.
“Where will I go?”
It is out of my hands.
“Will I ever see you again?”
You won’t want too, but time brings all people together one way or another, we are all unavoidable.
“What do we do now?”
Now is the time for questions to cease, and this moment to be erased
“Are you… God? Are you the Devil?”
For all you know I am the latter, and on this night and your reality, I simply am.
As fleeting and swift as a straight arrow time stopped, our words dispersed and light and dark entangled my mind. I could feel his hand on my shoulder and the entropic rotation of the dirt below me. It was all just a moment, and then, I awoke.
Ryan wakes, fighting his sheets as if they were hungry lions he bursts out of bed. His eyes burn and his back aches. Something happened in the sanctuary of his sleep, but he has no idea what. To him this is just another beginning, but what he neglects is that it is the beginning. An only child living with his parents in their oversized home, for now he is 17, for now he is just a kid. Downstairs he can smell the seductive scent of a hot breakfast, fifty percent of which will go to waste, a stranger starved but his belly is full, he enjoys neglecting inconveniences, especially in the morning. Eating breakfast, brushing his teeth, showering, submerging himself to the mundane laptop that resides on the highest peak in his room, it all is habit, and sometimes almost rehearsed, even at six in the morning he fails to miss a step.
The drive to school, the same trees, the half open window letting in the same cold air, the volatile cows seeping in that same grotesque smell you might find from pissing on a piece of molding cheese. It is all the same, whether it was yesterday or a year from now nothing really changes. In the cluttered hallways at school he manages to find a way to be alone, it is effortless; no one could be alone quite like Ryan. Passively standing at the foot of his locker, the two individuals who cluster him in talk with their friends, maybe girlfriend, Ryan has a voice he was just never good at using it. Instead he walks away and caresses the cold white wall and sits down next to the only few people whom actually new he was a regular person. (Regular has never, and will never be a complimentary term.) He knew eventually the small multitudes of people he trusted would eventually disappear, except he didn’t quite get it. A siren rings, its thunderous drone set the legs and mind in motion, walk to a class, sit in a desk, put your head down to avoid realizing how many kids don’t give a shit about you. He got good grades, never had a detention, the teachers either liked him or had some from of apathy, he was nothing special but nothing that could be disdained. He seldom made it through a day without completely breaking down mentally, at lunch he discovered solace in the bathroom stall and even greater safety in pretending to do homework, as if anyone actually thought he had a rational reason to be alone. His ride home became the most glorious part of his day, the moment when he seemed to have an infinite amount of time away from the cliché prison, it is funny how juvenile eternities last as long as the fly who cant seem to escape through the window.
His body he is home and his mind wandered hours ago to his room. The restless dog claws away mercilessly at the screen of the door, it takes something with the brain the size of an apple to actually care about him, at least that’s how he feels.
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